Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
