Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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