There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
