She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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