Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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