why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
