There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
