wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
