Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
