Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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