Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
