Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hippo gnu deer
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
