Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
