Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
