that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
