i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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