the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
