Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
