I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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