Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
