The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Randomize
