i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
