I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
