Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
