Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
