before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
