so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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