no, he came in my armpit
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
