She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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