What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
