I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
