I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
