i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
