I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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