I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
