Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
