I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
