You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
