I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
