I have demons in me.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
