If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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