You work out of a Hotel?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
