wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
