I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My ass is underappreciated
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
