Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
