i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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