discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
All I want is dick and wine.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
