I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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