I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
