Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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